Bridging the Gap

In working with students and their parents, I often find myself stepping into the role of mediator.

It’s not that one side is “right” or “wrong”—it’s that both are passionate, and their emotions can make it hard to see the other’s perspective. Let’s face it: Choosing a career and college is one of the most significant decisions a young person will make, and it’s natural for both parents and students to have valid concerns and fears.

But here’s the catch: these conversations often get complicated and emotional because they’re left until junior year of high school—or later. By then, the clock is ticking, and stress levels are high. That’s why I always encourage families to start talking early. When you have these discussions earlier—when the stakes feel lower—you can listen and process together instead of trying to convince each other why your perspective is the “right” one.

1. Start with Listening

Setting aside a specific time to listen and a separate time to share is crucial. For example, I once worked with a mom who immediately gave her son feedback the second he mentioned his interest in studying film. “How will you ever make a living?” she blurted out. Her son shut down, feeling judged, and the conversation was over before it began. If she had listened first, processed his ideas, and then thoughtfully shared her concerns, they might have reached a better understanding. Instant feedback often feels like a reaction, not a response—which can quickly shut down communication.

2. Find Common Ground

I love suggesting lists. Sit down together and list your fears, hopes, and expectations about careers and colleges. You might be surprised at how often your concerns overlap! I’ve seen parents and students discover they’re both worried about financial costs, job security, and finding a “good fit,” even if they approach these issues from different angles. Seeing these shared concerns on paper can be a game-changer.

3. Stay Connected

Parents, remember that your student needs to know you’re on their team. I’ve seen students thrive when they feel supported rather than pressured. And students, don’t forget your parents still want to feel needed. A little reassurance—like asking for advice or sharing your excitement—can go a long way.

Starting these conversations early and with empathy from both sides will pave the way for better decisions—and stronger relationships. After all, you’re all in this together!

Need help navigating this journey?

Let us guide your family through the process. Together, we can make this exciting step a little easier. Reach out to get started!